From Complaints to Clarity: A Journey in Judgment

Who put that body wash crayon in with my student’s Barbara Hepworth Sculptures?

I don’t like to think of myself as someone who complains. Complaining, after all, seems to attract more of whatever you’re complaining about. Making excuses, blaming others—these are toxic habits to be avoided at all costs. Instead, I try to live by a different approach: Look for the good, find the good, and praise it. And when you do, more good tends to follow.

“Rejoice always, pray constantly, and give thanks in all circumstances.” That’s the ideal. When life squeezes you, what comes out should reflect what’s inside. Squeeze an orange, and you get orange juice. Squeeze a Christian, and you should get Jesus.

That’s what I aim for. But then reality hits.

I complain about the crazy drivers who seem oblivious to the rules of the road. I complain when a server at a restaurant isn’t hyper-focused on making my dining experience seamless. I complain about a co-worker who doesn’t share my values, who seems disconnected from those around him.

And then, a tiny whisper enters my mind:

We complain about people and things that we ourselves are guilty of.

The irritation I feel toward others is often a reflection of something unresolved in me. The more I recognize this, the more I see complaining for what it really is—an invitation to self-examination.

I’ve always carried this self-view that I am amazing. And yet, it doesn’t take long to realize that this is not entirely reality. Complaining, in many ways, aligns with bad judgment. And as Mark Twain famously put it, “Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment.”

So, I am in the process of gaining experiences, ones that will—hopefully—lead me to better judgment. Maybe, instead of complaining, I can let these moments teach me. Maybe I can use them as a mirror rather than a megaphone. And maybe, just maybe, the next time I’m squeezed, what comes out will look a little more like grace.